I hope they spit in her lemonade

One of the sure signs of summer in suburbia is the neighborhood lemonade stand.  Last week I dropped Boo off at the train station for a trip to CT for work.  On our way to the train, we passed a lemonade stand, 25 cents a glass.  We kept driving (so we wouldn’t miss his train) but I said I’d stop on the way back.

So anyway, I dropped Boo off and headed back to the lemonade stand.  There was a bit of confusion when I pulled up.  It seemed that the lead car stopped for lemonade and confused the car behind them who couldn’t figure out to keep driving.  Granted, the stand was somewhat tricky to navigate.  It was perched at the end of a driveway on one of the notoriously narrow Main Line roads.  So there was parking to figure out.  Do you put the flashers on?  Do you assume that other drivers are smarter than the person you just saw who couldn’t figure out that cars were stopped to buy lemonade?

But it’s Sunday, not that traffic-y, so I said ‘what the heck’, stopped the car, and walked over.  But while I’m parking my car, I see a manicured hand slide out of the driver’s side window of the car parked in front of me.  Just the hand.  And then I see the finger waggle, beckon the kids over to the car, and flash a dollar bill.

My jaw kind of dropped.  I’ve crossed the street and I’m waiting for these kids (the oldest was probably 11) to pour my glass.  I ask if they’re having fun and tell them to keep up the good work and walk back to my car.  Meanwhile, this woman has refused to leave her car.  She has forced these little kids to cross the street with her lemonade.  I mean, these poor kids were like, 6 years old, teeny tiny, and schlepping across the road with her lemonade.  I just was shocked.  I mean, it takes an extra 30 seconds to park the car and get out, so why wouldn’t you?

So maybe I’m old school.  Maybe I’m used to people who act like they are supporting kids actually doing so rather than rolling down the tinted window and waggling their scary manicured fingers for a drink.  Like these kids are here to serve her.  Please lady, that has never been the point of a lemonade stand and you know it.

If it were me…well, I would have spit in her lemonade.


8 thoughts on “I hope they spit in her lemonade

  1. What an interesting case study on the Suburban Female Dirt Bag. Interesting species…so shiny and perfect on the outside…and rotten and gross on the inside!

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