I remember it clearly. I was a mere 20 myself. I had just left my teen years behind. My mid-twenties were barely in my sights. So it was easy to remind him that he was leaving his early twenties behind. That mid-twenties is just a year or two from late twenties and late twenties becomes thirties, which, to someone who just turned 20 might as well be dead.
I regret that decision now.
On December 31st I will turn 25.
Did you read that?
Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, I LOVE people who are older than 25. Oh, come on! You guys remember what it was like, don’t you?! DON’T LEAVE ME!!! If you leave, you are all ageist and that is just WRONG! It’s the holidays, people, WHY ARE YOU DISCRIMINATING?!
Anyway, as I was saying, I am turning 25 this year. I’m not the first of my friends to do it, sure, but I’m finally starting to feel old. My maid of honor/best friend decided that on her birthday (it’s today! Happy birthday Cait!!) rather than turn 25 she is going to turn 22 again. 22, she theorizes, was a good year; close enough to 21 that getting good and drunk in celebration is still okay but far enough away that she doesn’t get skeptical looks from the bartenders.
As I was reviewing my decade, I realized that I started high school 10 years ago. Let me say that again. 10 years ago I was a freshman. IN HIGH SCHOOL! That is just crazy talk. I can’t have been fresh out of middle school 10 years ago, can I? 10 years ago I was just a 14 year-old girl. My cousin is 14. That is freaky. (Oh wow, I’m about to go into a “back in my day” rant…I’ll try and save that for later). In 10 years I will be 34. It’s highly likely that in 10 years I will have 2 kids and a dog. I will be on the verge of turning 35 which will put me on the verge of being 40.
Oh, but wait. 10 years ago, 60 was the new 50. And now, 50 is the new 40, so in 10 years 40 could be the new 30 which means that 35 would be the new 25 so I’d be right back where I started.
Be glad you aren’t in my head.