You are cordially invited…

…to my 97th birthday celebration.

What’s that?  Did you not get the memo about me being seriously old?

Did you not read the post about the foot rest?

Did you skip the post about the acid reflux?

Well consider this the post about how I threw my back out.  Again.  For the second time in a month.  I’m not joking.  Let me repeat that:

I HAVE THROWN MY BACK OUT TWICE IN THE LAST MONTH.

I am 24 years old and I have thrown my back out twice in the last month.  Oh sure, this isn’t the first time I’ve thrown my back out.  I’ve thrown my back out at least 4 times.  The first time I was around 13 years old.  I almost always throw it out in pairs though.  It’ll happen twice (occasionally it’ll happen more than twice) in the span of  a few months and then I can go a few years without tossing anything out of whack.  I am hoping that will be the case now.

Thing is though, I have to assume that there is something seriously wrong with this.  My dentist told me I’m too young to be in such bad condition.  My coworkers told me I’m too young to be in such bad condition.  Boo even told me I’m too young to be in such bad condition.

Yes, everyone, I know that I’m too young to be in such bad condition.  24 is too young to have acid reflux.  24 is too young to seriously need an ergonomic foot rest.  24 is too young for me to be throwing my back out on a tri-weekly basis.

Which is why we’re going to celebrate my 97th birthday.  We’re going to have some mushed up cake and prune juice and really go to town.  And then we’ll call it a night around 7:30 b/c we must not exhaust the elderly.  Can’t strain them.  Can’t excite them.

And I think it’s pretty apparent that I’m not young.  I always knew that my penchant for grandpa-cardigans had to mean something.  And this?  This perpetually ailing back?  Well, I think this seals the deal.

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15 thoughts on “You are cordially invited…

  1. c’mon, nothing cuter than old people. cept when they fart. so, as long as you don’t have a belligerent gas problem, you haven’t gone over the edge. but seriously, do something about that back. it’s KINDA ridiculous.

  2. aw man. getting older sucks in so many ways and it sounds like it’s going to REALLY suck for you.
    i got the reflux just a couple of years older than you but it’s never gone away since and i’m basically on omeprazole for the rest of my life. and the arthritis… the waking up with swollen hands that need to be massaged before i can actually use them that day.
    seriously, you think you won’t feel old when you’re in your 20’s but it happens before you know it and it seems to be all downhill from there
    … not to be negative or anything : )

  3. 97, huh? Time flies!

    I know how you feel though. I’ve been getting headaches since 7 years old and I typically have at least two per week (four is about average though).

    And due to the size of my chest, I have major back issues. I also have genetic lymphedema – where blood doesn’t flow properly to extremeties, so my feet swell like crazy – and my eyesight is rather poor. Oh, and should I even mention that I’m allergic to metal, have super sensitive skin, the dentist said I could potentially lose my top two teeth (long story, but in a nutshell my braces pull my teeth out too much so there’s not a lot of root left)?

    Maybe this should be a joint celebration?

  4. You know… there’s a comment about you and Boo and blowing your back out…

    but seriously? You made it so easy that I don’t even want to go there.

  5. Astharis: 22? Oh to be that young again. You know, back when I only threw my back out once a month instead of twice :P

    Lauren: Have the grandkids show you how to work the DVR.

    NSJ: Now I’m REALLY looking forward to 25!

    MinD: Oh we can totally make this a joint celebration!

    Matt: TSK TSK TSK! I know what you’re thinking, you dirty bird, and I hate to break it to you, but that’s not an issue.

    andhari: Heck yes the elderlies do! We can gum those down pretty easily you know.

  6. Bloody hell, twice in a month??? Poor you!!!

    To be honest, I know a lot of people around my age with back problems but . . . I’m not sure how genuine they are. After all, one thing that is hard to prove the existence (or lack thereof) of is back pain and it seems to result in a lot of people i work with being off work. Hmmm, go figure…

  7. walking up stairs kills my knees and i like to have dinner around 3:00 or 4:00 pm if i can. now if only i was old enough to get senior citizen discounts at the movies, i’d be set!

    hope you feel better!

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