I guess an apple looks KIND OF like a heart…

Yesterday I opened my email and to my absolute delight, I found the perfect Valentine’s day gift!


Do you see what that is people?  That is an iPod that has been engraved.  ENGRAVED!

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.  Maybe I’m fine with just owning the iPod.  I mean, I can see shelling out the $150 for the nano or the $50 (yeah, that’s what they start at now!) for the shuffle.  But then to tack on the engraving charge?

And to say what?

“Happy Valentine’s Day.  See, I remembered.”

Why would I want that on my iPod?  Why would I want a constant reminder of my Valentine’s day gift and the fact that my significant other may or may not have worried about forgetting it?

And check out the gallery for the shuffle:


The only suggestion on there that I actually find amusing and wouldn’t totally poo-poo as an engraving option was “Now you can stop borrowing mine.”

At least that’s clever.  It’s better than “Say hello to my little friend.”

I guess my biggest problem with these is that you are going to pay the money to engrave them and then never see the engraving.  Once that shuffle gets clipped to your sleeve or your lapel or wherever you clip it, your sweet/stupid little message is hidden.

So what’s the point?!

Granted, Apple doesn’t totally suck at this.  They did come up with a few gems:

Under Love and Romance we have, “To practice dancing at our wedding.”  And under Birthday, they gave us, “Hearing is the first thing to go.  Enjoy while you can.”

But then they also came up with some of the following:

“Congrats on Baby Sophie! May this drown out the crying!” Nothing says “I hate children” better than this.

“Have fun in college.  But not too much. –Dad” Gotta love one that’s been signed.

“Happy 39th birthday. Again.” I can think of quite a few people this one would piss off….

“Thank you in advance for letting me borrow this.” Ah, a gift for you that’s really for me…and I’m admitting it!

In all fairness though, Apple really gave me a lot to think about it.  I mean, what could I possibly come up with that beats:

“Now will you stop talking about the pony? Love, Mom.”

Maybe one of these would work?:

Isn’t this better than bacon?

Sorry I left your old iPod at the gynecologist’s office.

Please don’t sue us for wrongful termination.

Keep running fat ass!

Think of this as a lovely parting gift.



Update: I took a second look and the engraving is actually free.  Which, lets be honest, drastically increases the possibility of me ordering a new shuffle just for the sake of using one of those comments.


14 thoughts on “I guess an apple looks KIND OF like a heart…

  1. My dad is a musician and I bought him an IPod classic last year (that’s right, $250 so I told him it counted as Father’s Day, his birthday and Christmas all wrapped in one), and got it engraved with a quote about music.

    “Without music, life would be a mistake.” Nietzsche

    So you could always go that route and find a short, yet sweet, quote for the engraving.

  2. NOTHING is better than bacon

    i thought the engraving was free? oh well… i still kinda want one but not nearly enough to ever buy one. i’ve told M if he wants me to get into shape i’ll have to have one : )

  3. Isn’t engraving free sometimes? I know when I got mine, I had the option to get a free engraving.

    I denied it. Although “Isn’t this better than bacon?” would have been great.

  4. MinD: Ah, if only short but sweet were my style. I’m more like short, sarcastic and vaguely inappropriate.

    Matt: I’ll make a note.

    Allison: Haha excellent!

    rs27: Nothing about this says “fail” if you ask me.

    NSJ: Uh, obviously nothing is better than bacon!!

    apollo: Obviously.

    Dingo: See comment back to NSJ. It’s the truth.

    Crissy: Steve Jobs and myself are up there with the best of the best.

    Gretchen: Oddly enough I’d actually request that for myself.

    Lauren: Yeah…I took a second look and it’s definitely free. That actually makes me tempted to purchase another shuffle JUST for the sake of getting to use one of the above quotes. Maybe even combining them. Something like “Keep running fat-ass and you can reward yourself with bacon!”

  5. K here’s the thing about if a significant other buys you an iPod for a holiday/anniversary/whatever: I think you should really be really sure you guys are gonna be together for A LONG TIME, because every time you play your iPod or see your iPod (engraved or not) it will remind you of them. And what if you have a nasty bitter breakup and never want to ever see them ever again? Then you’d have to shell out $150 just to get rid of their memory.

    So buy iPods as gifts with caution. That’s all I’m saying.

  6. I would engrave my ipod with “Alpha Ipod”. That way, regardless of the size or the beats inside, my Ipod would always own (be better than yours).

    Only if you could engrave an image….

  7. That is a pretty damn cool idea! Since I have no one to buy it for me, perhaps i should buy one for myself and engrave it “paula you are awesome, love from me x”. yeah . . .

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