Today, my two worlds collided. (That so does not right. I know it is, but it sounds weird. Why does collided sound so wrong?).
I found out that my 13-year-old cousin is on Facebook.
No good can come from this.
First, there will be the friend request. Then I’ll be forced to ignore it. Because there are things on my Fbook page that shouldn’t be seen by impressionable young eyes.
This blog, for example.
But you can’t ignore friend requests from family. I’ll ignore her and then she’ll be hurt and then her mother will be offended and pretty soon all of the other relatives will have something to say about it. So I’m left with no choice but to–
–what?! What are my choices here? I could add her, sure, and then so severely limit what she’s able to see. But that’s no good. I still put my blog posts in my status (b/c I’m a greedy, readership boosting blogger).
I went in to immediate panic mode. I mean, what pictures CAN’T she see?
Silly, innocent college pictures like this:
…are no longer acceptable. It becomes “Oh, well why does That Guy have a thong sticking out of his pants? What does that mean?” and “Oh, who’s that guy downing a bottle of whisky on the poster behind you” instead of simply “hahaha…that’s a pretty sweet costume. Are those really your ex-boyfriend’s jeans?”*
And pictures like this:
…become “ooh, I love your little outfits. Wait, why do your shirts say Beer Olypmics? Oh, it’s a WHOLE DAY of drinking games? That sounds fun!”
And you know what, it is fun. But it’s fun when you’re 22 (which is how old I was then). It’s not fun when you’re 13 (because I still live in a world where I pretend that middle schoolers aren’t getting high on the playground and partaking in all sorts of sexual crap in the school bathrooms).
At 13, you shouldn’t be on Facebook. You shouldn’t have access to your decade-older cousin’s pictures, friends or blogs.
My life will be a lot better if my cousin never knows how many bar tours I went on during my last month of college. Or if she never finds out my thoughts on buses and assholes. Or if she never hears (or reads) me use the word asshole!
Because here’s what will happen then. She’ll see it or read it or whatever it. And then she’ll want to do it. And her mom will freak out. And I’ll be blamed for being a bad influence when she’s the one who let her on Facebook in the first place.
Or, she’ll straight-up show her mom. And her mom will freak out. And I’ll be blamed for being a bad influence when she’s the one who let her on Facebook in the first place.
This is a lose-lose situation. For me. And for her. NO good can come from this.
And it’s true. I need to keep the worlds apart.
*yes, yes they are.