This morning I woke up with a sore throat.
I HATE sore throats.
In college, a sore throat usually led to strep throat. For some reason, I was a magnet for that illness during my 4 years at Penn State. I never got it before I went to college and I haven’t had it since, but that university was like a cess pool for sickness (something about sharing cups during beer pong?) and I was strep happy while I was there.
But PSU aside, sore throats generally mean the onset of a cold (or allergies). They are an overall annoyance. Much like the wind.
What’s that? You’re not sure how weather and psychical maladies are similar? I anticipated that. Stick with me, kittens, and I’ll get you all up to speed.
Both of these things are annoying on their own:
Sore throats are generally uncomfortable. Even if that’s ALL you have, you feel off and like all you want is hot tea and cold ice cream. Wind is irritating on its own too. Even on the sunniest, most cloud-free day, your day can be worried by a gust of wind. Sure the breeze will cool you off, but that perfect ‘do you were sporting moments ago? Kiss that goodbye. Now your hair is doing that stupid flippy thing and try as you might, you won’t be able to fix that.
If that weren’t bad enough, try pairing these inconveniences with other factors:
Sore throats are the worst of the (non-stomach related, of course) ailments. Why? They make everything worse. A headache on its own is annoying. Couple it with a sore throat and you want to rip your head off. Aches are uncomfortable on their own. Couple them with a sore throat and you want nothing more than to spend your whole day in bed. Sneezes/coughs are irrirtating when they are all you have to deal with. Couple them with a sore throat and it’s hell–if you’ve ever done one of those really intense sneezes and then felt like the back of your throat just got ripped out, then you know what I’m talking about.
This is just like the wind. The wind is the worst of the (non-catastrophic, of course) weather phenomena. The cold is less than pleasant on its own. Couple it with wind and you’ve got not a cold breeze but a FREEZING wind, making the temperature seem unbearable. Rain is obviously obnoxious on its own. Couple it with wind and you’ll have people screaming out that “IT’S RAINING SIDEWAYS!” –wait, that’s just me and Rachel. We have a bit of a love affair with Ollie Williams (just a note, all my favorite videos of him disappeared…there used to be a “Best of Ollie Williams” video…I can’t find it anymore, but it’s got all the classic lines). The wind also makes the umbrella situation less Mary Poppins and more “‘where’s your umbrella?’ ‘upside down 2 miles away!'” (another Ollie gem).
And if you happen to have a sore throat on a windy day? Well, just stay the hell inside because there’s no way you can do anything to fix that situation.