Do you not hear me saying “NO”?

This weekend I finally indulged my inner child and did a little “back to school” shopping.  I know that I’m not going back to school.  I even know that, given the temperature in my office all summer, I probably won’t need the sweater that I bought but I couldn’t help it.  I had an itch and it needed to be scratched!

After going to quite a few stores and being unsuccessful in our search, the roommate and I went to H&M.  I like H&M because I know that I never have to walk out of there empty handed.  Even if all I buy is a scarf or a necklace, I know that I soothe the shopping beast by ducking in there.

H&M didn’t let us down.  We jumped into the weird line system and began waiting.  The problem with the lines in this store is that there are usually 5 registers open and 5 lines behind them.  But, inevitably, someone does that thing where they jump out of their line (even though they are next) and they line cut whoever was in the line next to them and they bullrush their way to the cashier.

This visit was no exception.  The lady in front of us sent everyone she knew on this line-jumping adventure and then, right when Rachel was about to step up to the cashier, she cut.  I moved up in my own line and put my sweater and gloves ($3.50–what did I tell you?) on the counter.

Jumpy lady: Ooooh! Can I see that?! (grabs for my sweater).

Uh, no lady, you can’t.  Unlike you, I am trying to get somewhere and I don’t feel like dawdling while you ogle my purchase.  Plus, I don’t know where your hands have been and I don’t want you getting bird flu all over my $19.50 v-neck.

Me: NO.

Jumpy lady grabs again.

Me: NO!

Jumpy lady CONTINUES pawing at my stuff while both the cashier and I try to grab it back.


Jumpy lady gets all huffy, mutters something under her breath, gives “what’s her problem?” looks to everyone she can make eye contact with and then leaves the line, pausing on her way out of the store to look at everything on the shelves.

I’m sure I sounded like a bitch.  I don’t particularly care.  You’ve had the time to search the store for this sweater.  If you wanted to know where I got it, ask me.  Don’t grab it.  For all you know, I’ve got somewhere to be in the next 30 seconds and I don’t need you delaying me by pawing at my crap–especially when you’re clearly going to scour all the racks on your way out.  What were you doing before you got in line anyway, huh lady?  Is this your first time shopping?  Are you new to the process?  Well here, let me help:

You enter the store, look at ALL of the items that strike your fancy.

You bring those items into a dressing room and try them on.

The items that fit you and that you like, you keep.  The other items you return to whoever is working the dressing rooms.

You bring the items to the cashier.  Place them on the counter.  She will ring them up.  You will pay her.  You will leave.

See?  Simple.  But notice how nowhere in that description did I mention you grabbing other people’s stuff while they are trying to check out?

Make a note lady, or next time, you’ll end up eating my $3.50 gloves.


15 thoughts on “Do you not hear me saying “NO”?

  1. i HATE the people who step out of line to look at one more thing and then slide back in right in front of you. no way jose, you got out of line. your problem. not mine. head to the back bitch!

  2. I dont think anything like this ever happened to me. Maybe I have harrible fashion sense?

    Anyway, I have issues with trying clothes on in public.

    So I end up returning stuff alot.

    but on the plus side, it usually makes shopping quick and easy.

  3. Jamie: I know, right? Even if you didn’t know that was rude to start, don’t keep doing it after I say “NO!”

    Kristen: I think you should! In fact, you have my full support. I’ll even supply an alibi.

    NSJ: Exactly! You should know better that people won’t let you back in.

    Ben: Totally creepy! For all I know you’ve just blown your nose in your hands and are wiping it on my sweater!

    Matt: That’s a total boy thing!

    Heather: It seems likely that that’s true.

  4. what a cow! (I mean jumpy woman, not you!) these people who have the nerve to jump lines though will do anything!!! they just don’t care, they think the world belongs to them. arseholes.

  5. Apollo: For my reaction or hers? Or would you have just been in the background rooting for me to punch?

    Paula: I agree–total cow!

    Meg: That’s how you gotta play it! I’m telling you, I’m not going back there w/o weaponry of some form!

  6. That woman was…weird. I can honestly say that something like that has never happened to me. I may have asked someone where they got an item they were holding. I may have also asked a friend to provide a distraction as I pushed someone down to take the last pair of $3.50 gloves they were holding. But nope, I’ve never had someone come paw through my stuff. Ohhhh! Maybe she was a druggie trying to get you to mule narcotics. Did you check your bag? Did she plant anything?

  7. Oh my gosh. I am sorry to be politically incorrect but what a retard!
    That lady is effed up!
    What the hell???
    To me, that counts as a violation of personal space.

  8. Lauren: Oh believe me, ignoring was not enough! This lady was a full-on garment grabber!

    Dingo: SO weird!! I figured she was the type to end up pickpocketing you–it never occurred to me that she may have been planting stuff too!

    Kez: You’re more than welcome to be politically incorrect on this blog. Especially when describing people who interrupt my shopping days!

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