This weekend I finally indulged my inner child and did a little “back to school” shopping. I know that I’m not going back to school. I even know that, given the temperature in my office all summer, I probably won’t need the sweater that I bought but I couldn’t help it. I had an itch and it needed to be scratched!
After going to quite a few stores and being unsuccessful in our search, the roommate and I went to H&M. I like H&M because I know that I never have to walk out of there empty handed. Even if all I buy is a scarf or a necklace, I know that I soothe the shopping beast by ducking in there.
H&M didn’t let us down. We jumped into the weird line system and began waiting. The problem with the lines in this store is that there are usually 5 registers open and 5 lines behind them. But, inevitably, someone does that thing where they jump out of their line (even though they are next) and they line cut whoever was in the line next to them and they bullrush their way to the cashier.
This visit was no exception. The lady in front of us sent everyone she knew on this line-jumping adventure and then, right when Rachel was about to step up to the cashier, she cut. I moved up in my own line and put my sweater and gloves ($3.50–what did I tell you?) on the counter.
Jumpy lady: Ooooh! Can I see that?! (grabs for my sweater).
Uh, no lady, you can’t. Unlike you, I am trying to get somewhere and I don’t feel like dawdling while you ogle my purchase. Plus, I don’t know where your hands have been and I don’t want you getting bird flu all over my $19.50 v-neck.
Jumpy lady grabs again.
Jumpy lady CONTINUES pawing at my stuff while both the cashier and I try to grab it back.
Me: DO YOU NOT HEAR ME SAYING “NO”?!
Jumpy lady gets all huffy, mutters something under her breath, gives “what’s her problem?” looks to everyone she can make eye contact with and then leaves the line, pausing on her way out of the store to look at everything on the shelves.
I’m sure I sounded like a bitch. I don’t particularly care. You’ve had the time to search the store for this sweater. If you wanted to know where I got it, ask me. Don’t grab it. For all you know, I’ve got somewhere to be in the next 30 seconds and I don’t need you delaying me by pawing at my crap–especially when you’re clearly going to scour all the racks on your way out. What were you doing before you got in line anyway, huh lady? Is this your first time shopping? Are you new to the process? Well here, let me help:
You enter the store, look at ALL of the items that strike your fancy.
You bring those items into a dressing room and try them on.
The items that fit you and that you like, you keep. The other items you return to whoever is working the dressing rooms.
You bring the items to the cashier. Place them on the counter. She will ring them up. You will pay her. You will leave.
See? Simple. But notice how nowhere in that description did I mention you grabbing other people’s stuff while they are trying to check out?
Make a note lady, or next time, you’ll end up eating my $3.50 gloves.