…Britney Spears finally won a VMA. I don’t know why I’m pretending that I’m a celebrity blogger or that I have any actual knowledge of that LA scene. But I do know that it’s thanks to Britney Spears and Russell Brand that I watched the VMAs for the first time in like, 5 years.
Am I alone here? I hope not.
Regardless, last night’s awards were, well, a bit of a shit show. No one seemed to know their lines–Michael Phelps read better than most of the long time actors/actresses/musicians (yeah, I’m talking about you Demi Moore). Mics were forgotten, stagehands were constantly seen floating around the background shots.
There was the scrub pit for those artists not deemed worthy of the main stage. Examples? Katy Perry (what the hell MTV?). LL Cool J. These artists just got to hang w/Adam Barker and DJ AM–no fireworks, no big stage.
Which reminds me–where was the big stage MTV? This was the dinkiest venue I’ve ever seen for the VMAs. The opening shot of the crowds showed like, 17 people in the audience. That’s a little lame MTV. What’s going on there? Where were your seat-fillers? Oh, that’s right–they were rushing the stage for the Jonai and Paramore.
Then we have Russell Brand, who got political (uh, aren’t you British? why are you telling us to vote for?) within the first 3 minutes he was on stage and then spent the rest of his air-time dissing those too-cute-for-words Jonas brothers for being virgins. And some of us, like Jordin Sparks, took offense to that. Even Perez Hilton called Brand out for that one. Sure, I think Brand is hilarious. I mean, everyone likes to see someone cracked out take the stage–wait, what? He was clean? There were no drugs involved? Wow…just wow.
But, the best part of the night was Britney. After 10 years, 2 marriages, 2 divorces, 2 kids and 1 reality show she finally took home a Moon Man–make that 3 Moon Men. I was always a fan of Brit Brit. Even when she was dating a certain N*SNYCer and was the envy of girl’s nationwide. I sang “Lucky” into a hairbrush in front of my mirror. I practiced the dance moves to “Slave 4 U.”
I had forgotten my love of Ms. Spears recently. She was like watching a train wreck–her every move was tabloid fodder. Then, a few weekends ago I caught “Crossroads” and I was reminded of the old Britney. The red spacesuit/catsuit Britney. The “overprotected” Britney. And I was hooked. Again.
So here’s to you, Britney Spears. And your decade’s past-due Moon Men.
*NOTE: None of you buttheads entered my contest, which is making me cry a little bit, so anybody thinks they will actually do it if I hold out and stretch the deadline to this Friday, let me know. Otherwise, the super cool prize is going to the next person I see who compliments my outfit. Yeah, don’t you all feel bad now.*
*ANOTHER NOTE: I’m over at Half Deserted Streets today too, telling one of my favorite breakup stories of all-time.*