I love one-liners. There is nothing better than a great one-liner–a really well-timed awesome one-liner. They are the best.
In high school and college, my away messages were constantly filled with one liners. My profile consisted of one liner montages after any significant event; prom, new year’s eve (aka my birthday–I TOLD you I plug that); a particularly, uh, interesting, pong tournament.
I was thinking that it would be so fun to write posts about some of those. I mean, they’re pretty funny. Then I realized–they’re really only funny in context–as one-liners. So I thought I would do something else to showcase them.
It’s contest time!!
I’m going to post this again in a more permanent spot but I wanted to make sure everyone saw this. So here’s what I’m thinking. I’m going to give a list of some of my favorite one-liners. I’m not telling you who said them or what their context was. Then you guys will all write something (300 words-ish) really hilarious (for a prize to be determined at a later date but I promise it won’t suck!) and you will include, somewhere in the story, the line. Then, after all of the entries are in, I’ll pick a winner (bonus points if you come close to getting the context of the one-liner right!).
Contest will start September 1 and end September 5. But I know it’s Labor Day weekend and chances are no one will be reading tomorrow or Monday anyway so I want to give you guys enough time.
The one-liners (which in all fairness may be updated by the 1st…so check back to the official rules page when it goes up!):
- Apple hoarding bitches!
- G’head. Roast your chicken. And I hope you enjoy it.
- I’m going to have an aneurysm trying to suck this thing out.
- I have to pee. But not in this bed.
Well? What are you waiting for?! Get writing!!
*UPDATE: CONTEST RULES ARE POSTED!!!*