Saved by the Bell: The hierarchy

I would just like to point out that there IS in fact a hierarchy of SBTB seasons. And this ranking is important. And I bring this up because while I had just accustomed myself to the Miss Bliss years, I turned the TV on this morning (I happen like the mindless background noise in the mornings) and found The College Years. Ick!

For those who may not know, this is the proper order of significance for SBTB (in order from best to worst):

  • Original high school: Straight up Saturday morning TV gold. Zack, Kelly, Slater, Jessie, Lisa and Screech. And Belding, of course.
  • High school, the Tori Years: Kelly and Jessie are conspicuously absent from this second senior year.
  • Good Morning Miss Bliss: This is ranked higher than The College Years because of the sheer awesomeness of the Casey Kasem Dance Party episode pop star goes college student/secret identity/birth of Hannah Montana episode when Zack tries to kiss teen queen Stevie. (Thanks to Jimmy for pointing out my HUGE error. I’m so ashamed….)
  • The College Years: Big snooze. Kelly dates a professor. Zack tries to date Leslie. And no one seems concerned that all that incestuous group dating still results in Zack and Kelly getting married.

The specials:

  • Hawaiian Style: While Kelly mentions an uncle in Honolulu she neglects to mention the grandfather until the gang gets tropic.
  • Malibu Sands: The summer the original cast spent working the beach club. Also features Leah Remini, as bitchy as always.
  • Wedding in Vegas: A bit too reminiscent of Sister Act to be ranked higher. But we finally see our 2 lovebirds tie the knot.

And there you have it. The way these episodes should be airing. As much as I would love to see Jessie freak out about how there’s “NEVER ANY TIME” and the next day watch Zack and Kelly break up because she’s getting it on with her boss at The Max, I just can’t condone such blatant season mixing.

I mean, some things are just too sacred.

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8 thoughts on “Saved by the Bell: The hierarchy

  1. They should just scrap the college years altogether in my opinion.

    They were cool in high school…but in college they were just losers.

  2. Booty!

    I have a correction to this blog. There was no casey kasem dance party in the Miss Bliss Years. If it is the dance party I’m thinking of, it invovled zach picking Jessie as his dance partner, Kelly and Slater doing an almost identical routine, and Lisa coining the new dance move “the sprain”. The only other feature that Mr. Kasem had was during his brief stint as the host of the “rockumentary”. Come ON!

    -MC extradordinaire, Jim

  3. Matt: Total losers. Screech made balloon animals at a frat party.

    Jim: Well crap! I can’t believe I messed that up. You’re right, it was season 1 of the Good Years….ALSO totally glad to hear from you!

  4. All I have to say is…there is no way Zach Morris had any service in school to order pizza. I don’t care how big the antenna was…just sayin.

  5. I hate to say this, but, despite the Stevie episode, which is absolutely fabulous, I still hate the Miss Bliss years and will always rank the college years above it.

    Also, the Malibu Sands summer was also excellent and I would have to rank it above Hawaiian Style. That’s just how I feel about it.

  6. Boo: Don’t you speak ill of Zack Morris and his incredible abilities…you don’t KNOW what Preppy was capable of you…you just don’t know.

    Meg: I can respect that.

  7. Sara GH: Oh they TOTALLY made a college years. Conveniently enough, all the boys shared a dorm room, which, conveniently enough, was a suite they shared with girls, including a Miss Kelly Kapowski!

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