Rhode Island: Neither a road, nor an island, nor a Carolina, nor a Wyoming. Discuss.

So, as I mentioned yesterday, Boo and I went to Block Island this past weekend. Here, for your reading pleasure, is the tale of our adventure:

After looking up the direction on BI’s Web site (which, btw, is pretty sad) we were forced to turn to Google maps.  THEN we were forced to print out (and by print I mean write on the back on an envelope) the directions because Nick’s phone kind of refused to download them from Google. We had a little trouble following Google’s original directions so we consulted with them again and the poor map feature could do no more for us than pinpoint what state we were in. While trying to decipher what it meant to “Merge onto Kingstown Road, turn right at Kingstown Road, turn left to stay on Kingstown Road, turn right to stay on Kingstown Road, continue on Columbia” we passed a few interesting sights, including:

A road sign for Carolina (at which point we were concerned).

A road sign for Wyoming (at which point we were greatly concerned).

A sign for Jingle Valley Road (at which point we were amused).

A sign for Little Biscuit Road (at which point we were very amused).

We finally made our way to the ferry and were the first 2 people on board (because our detour past Wyoming delayed us by a few minutes and we missed the 9:30 ferry by like, 45 seconds). But delay be damned, we were stoked to have such awesome seats!

Then, unfortunately, our awesome view was interrupted by this:

First it was just an invasion of little children. They started to kick us and step over us and trip on our feet. They clearly didn’t have parents either because not only were they completely devoid of manners they were also hanging over the railing. Then we were proven wrong again. Their parents (that’s one in the white…after she returned from getting a morning mimosa–not even joking) then swarmed the area too. We were stunned. 45 minutes early and we were forced out of our seats by a bunch of rude schmucks who showed up at 10:21? What the hell is this crap? Although, in all fairness, it was less crappy than what we saw last year on the morning ferry.

Unfortunately last year our eyes were forever destroyed by the sight of a father walking around carrying a used one of these. For those of you who aren’t really interested in clicking the link (and are missing out on the great/nasty visual) I’ll tell you what we saw. It was a child’s portable potty. And it was used. And it basically looked like a garbage bag strapped to a box. But a small box that still allowed anyone with eyes a perfect view of whatever it was that Junior deposited in said box. And he was waving it around like it was no big deal.

No big deal? Excuse me!? Sir!? Do you REALIZE what is in there? You are sloshing bodily fluids around on a moving boat. That is disgusting. Just because things like this have been invented doesn’t mean you need to take advantage of them in such a well, grossly inappropriate manner. Some parents think that just because little Junior made “poops” (which, by the way, I don’t think you should call it. Don’t baby it. It doesn’t make it any less “dirty” if that’s what you are trying to do and it only makes it an uncomfortable situation for everyone else who has to listen to your baby talk) that everyone else they encounter will want to see it and exult in Junior’s success. We don’t.

Some parents just don’t know how to raise their kids. They think that since the rules don’t apply to them so they shouldn’t apply to their kids either. The kids who kicked their way in front of us on the ferry? They weren’t taught that it was a problem to take over other people’s space. They weren’t taught to say “excuse me” when they walked over us. No one else on the ferry was acting that way. In fact, there were PLENTY of seats on the inner rows. But no, these kids stood in front of us. Not in front of anyone else either. Just us.

I guess I have a little problem with child rearing these days. Granted, I have no offspring so I can’t really judge, but my kid is damn well gonna know how to respect other people. Because, unlike the Poop Waver, I respect other people now.

And just so you don’t think that the whole trip to Block Island was Boo and I wishing most of America lost the ability to procreate, here are pictures of the other things we did this weekend:

Boo found his true calling:

And I found mine:

And finally, even after all of the fun of the day, we decided to have a little more fun on the trip home. Because we are cool, we thought it would be fun to do the Dramatic Chipmunk (don’t ACT like you don’t know what I’m talking about) to any car we stopped next to at a red light.

So we did.

Unfortunately the first car we saw was not intimidated. And then we read their license plate and we realized why:

No fear? We had no chance. Well…on to another car then. And another day.


9 thoughts on “Rhode Island: Neither a road, nor an island, nor a Carolina, nor a Wyoming. Discuss.

  1. I am so with you on people not being able to raise their kids right. People just don’t understand the concept of being aware of the people around you.

  2. Kristen: Whoa, hey, we Googled “Queen of F**king Everything” and Google Maps was a total bitch and would NOT give us directions. I even made VERY harsh threats about jumping ship and going to Mapquest, but it was to no avail.

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