Adventures in paper clip orthodontia and still more signs it’s hard being a grownup

I was walking down the hall at work today and I looked down at the floor and saw this:

IMMEDIATELY I was taken back to 3rd grade, when Alan Laszczynski and I made paper clip retainers and our teacher, Mrs. Donnelly, busted us for it. We had to spit them out and it’s likely we probably received some other form of punishment.

But does anybody else remember doing things like this? Back when geeks ruled and the cool kids were the ones with glasses and braces. Hell, that shit was novel man. No one had seen that before. You had metal, you were cool. Whoa–hold on, I did not say you were COVERED in metal, man. Mouth gear was a whole separate (and unfortunate) thing.

I met a young girl on the subway yesterday afternoon who talked to me for the entirety of my trip. She told me all about the science experiments she was conducting, including one where she tried to filter sugar through colored soap to see if it would change colors (which, she informed me, half of it did).

Sometimes, I miss being that young. When you spent all day making retainers out of paper clips and fortune tellers out of napkins. When anything in your house could be turned into an experiment given the chance (and no, this does not apply to the teen years when “I’m doing an experiment” was the only excuse you gave as to why you hadn’t cleaned your room yet).

We were mini-MacGyvers in training if you ask me. And now–nothing. No chance to be all creative like that. Nothing. Granted, the Nabisco ad people nailed the idea with their “Miss Mary Mack” commercial. And, I’ve gotta say I applaud them for it.

But for the most part, being an adult is very boring. Although we can go to the bars and that always makes things more interesting.


12 thoughts on “Adventures in paper clip orthodontia and still more signs it’s hard being a grownup

  1. I agree whole-heartedly. When you’re a kid-there’s always something life altering to talk about.

    I guess our worlds were so much smaller then-it didn’t take much to fill them to the brim. ^__^

  2. I used to paint my hand with glue, let it dry, then peel it off in front of someone who hadn’t seen me do it and say, “MY SKIN IS PEELING OFF!”

  3. Matt: Yeah, isn’t that a bummer?

    Kristen: They did that on Top Model too…okay, fine, she made a grill out of a gum wrapper, but that’s kind of the same.

    Heather: Omg, to the little kid on the train, EVERYTHING was life-altering…and I kind of loved her for it.

    Morgy: Okay, I TOTALLY did that too. Man, I feel better having admitted that.

  4. Apollo: I would kill to learn how to do that. I know some people who could use some serious Ninja Starring.

    Matt: I wouldn’t know, I was too busy playing with things like Chinese Jump Ropes. Which reminds me–KYLE: if you are reading this, you still owe me for the one you broke at the bus stop when I was 7.

    Meg: Some people in my office use them for clipping paper. But I make pretty bracelets and necklaces with mine. Maybe that’s why I can’t get them to order me more….

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