You are all nauseated by the title of this, aren’t you? Well, rest assured–this was not the menu for my most disgusting/stomach ache-inducing meal.
My current job requires that I deal with colors on a regular basis. Daily I receive color swatches. Most of them have names like “Ebony” or “Classic Ivory” (which actually causes me to have Ebony and Ivory stuck in my head all day, every day….) But some of them have really awesome names that make me smile. Things like “Sun Flash,” “Red Explosion” and “Strawberry Shake.”
It wasn’t until I got the swatch of “Strawberry Shake” that I was reminded of the best part of childhood: a brand new (96 count) box of Crayola Crayons (with the built-in sharpener). Ahhhmazing. The best thing ever. Forget how awesome the smell of new crayons is (actually, don’t because it really is awesome), coloring with a brand new crayon is the best thing ever. But the most fun part of the 96-count box was that they introduced a ton of new colors–and all of them had wicked cool names!
Like, for example, Macaroni and Cheese (which was probably my favorite color). Then there was Razzle Dazzle Rose, Atomic Tangerine, Tropical Rain Forest, Mauvelous (which is actually more “mauvelous” as an adult) and Unmellow Yellow (also cooler as an adult).
What a great job that would be, to come up with the names of the crayons. People at bars ask you what you do for a living, you answer “well, you know the Crayola “Tickle Me Pink” crayon? Yeah, I came up with that name.” You know you’re getting free drinks out of that–either because people believe you and think it’s awesome or they are so impressed that that was the fake job you came up with. You go back to your high school reunion, all those teachers who told you that you had an over-active imagination–tell them that YOU are the reason their kid only colors with Purple Mountain’s Majesty (which was totally one of my favorite colors).
And now, just to make me feel old and sad about it, they’ve come out with the 120 box. Okay, in all fairness, I think they came out with that in like, 1998, which makes me a decade out of the times, but I haven’t really had a reason to buy crayons since then. But Boo came through and totally hooked me up with a box this fall. And inside are even more crazy colors to make my day: Bear Hug, Banana Mania, Wild Blue Yonder and Outer Space.
It’s a good thing I’m not still in school. I would totally have been the kid who colored her whole paper with the Outer Space crayon and when my teacher asked what it was, I would just give an exasperated sigh and say “It’s OUTER SPACE! Duuuuuh.”