Sweat your way to a size annoyed!

Screw Jenny Craig. Wanna lose weigh this summer? Well this heat will help you shed pounds in a matter of minutes. Try my 2-step program designed to curb your appetite and help you drop weight without lifting a finger.

Before you begin the program, wait until the temperature has reached freakish heights–88 or higher with excessive humidity. The first step is easy after that. Just go about your daily life. If you happen to be a city-dweller the commute to and from the subway will cause you to sweat buckets. Once on the train, you may just luck out and get to ride in a non-air conditioned car–even better for your body! And for those who are really serious about the program, hop the Metro-North out to CT some night–but make sure you sit in a car without air conditioning or you won’t see results. Once you feel like you’re dehydrated to the point of death it’s time to begin phase 2.

Phase 2 is actually quite easy. The intense heat and humidity will annihilate your appetite. The last thing you’ll want to do is stand in a kitchen, the hottest room of your already over-heated apartment (high rise or otherwise) and even takeout seems like a stretch. This heat will leave you with one meal a day–lunch in your wonderfully cool office building (where takeout is more easily imagined and where you can sneak in an extra step from Phase 1 and head outside in search of food!).

I write this as not only an inventor of the diet–I’m also its best client! After one summer on the plan I lost more weight than could possibly be considered healthy and it was awesome! My walk to and from my house to my classes (oh yes, I began the program in college and it’s still working wonders for me!) had me so hot that by the time I finally landed in my un-air conditioned house at the end of the day, all I could could possibly eat for dinner was vanilla ice cream and blueberries.

So go on, try it. And sweat your way to a brand new you this summer!

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3 thoughts on “Sweat your way to a size annoyed!

  1. Oh god, I know dieting isn’t meant to be fun, but this commuting in the heat business sounds like hell. Kinda makes me glad I’m in the middle of a chilly Sydney winter right now!

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