Signs it might be time to move (or at least look into bullet proofing the door)

Saturday night around 9:30 Boo and I were sitting in my living room, watching Friends and digesting some really fabulous sushi from my new favorite takeout place. I’d fallen asleep on the couch (fat and happy usually leads to sleepy as well) when all of a sudden Boo was shaking my foot saying “I think you need to get up right now! People are seriously fighting outside!!”

Immediately I knew he was referring to The Hostel. We got up and ran for the door, pressing our ears against it but making sure to keep our feet back (the door has about an inch of space b/w the bottom of it and the floor). At first all I heard was the crazy hostel woman yelling at her meathead boyfriend. Then I heard Meathead yell, “I’m gonna call the cops on you, you crazy bitch!” And she just egged him on, saying, “Do it! DO IT!! What could you possibly say?!” But he knew what he was going to say: “I’m calling the cops and telling them you came at me with a knife you crazy bitch. I’m calling the cops! I’m calling! You came at me with a KNIFE you crazy bitch!!”

At this point I thought it best to call the front desk and have someone come up and deal with this situation. I called down in a panic, telling the guys to send someone immediately up to my floor b/c there was a lot of shouting and someone was threatening someone with a knife. They transferred me. Uh…okay. Next guy picked up and I told him the same thing and he said someone was on their way up.

We heard a little more yelling then around 9:50 security finally came upstairs, pounded on the door of The Hostel, asked if they were okay and told them 911 had been called and the police were on their way. A little after 10 we heard the cops roll in and knock on the door. They must have entered the apartment, b/c we didn’t hear them for a few minutes then heard them again. I can only imagine what they saw in there–in that apartment that wouldn’t let maintenance come in for mandatory AC unit cleaning without being there, which Rachel and I assumed was somehow related to all the pot smoke perpetually wafting from under the door.

It’s always an adventure in my building. I can only hope that my new next door neighbors were home to hear that too. Baptism by fire is really going to be their best shot at getting accustomed to the city. Get your totally crazy story the first night then nothing else will surprise you.

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