Congratulations on your epic fail, Penn State registrar’s office

Before I made the switch to my current place of employment I was going on interviews like it was my job (oh yeah, I used the bad joke and you all loved it). One interview requested my college transcripts. This was the first company to ever request these and I hadn’t bothered to ask Penn State for them after graduation.

I put in a call to my alma mater requesting a rush delivery of my transcripts as I had less than a week until my interview. They informed me that w/o a fax machine (which I told them 6 times in the course of the conversation that I did not have access to) I couldn’t get my transcripts unless I wrote in a request. It’s not enough to provide them with your social security number. No, they need a signature too. Of the 2, I’d say the signature (that they don’t keep on file) would be the harder to verify, but that’s just me.

I muttered a multitude of obscenities while I filled out the paperwork, being very careful to print clearly so there was no confusion. Popped a check in the envelope and sent it on its way. Then, because quite frankly I didn’t trust the registrar’s office, I put in a call to the College of Comm. Sure enough they were able to e-mail me the crude copy of my transcript, which, as it turned out, was good enough for my interviewers.

I basically forgot about the other copy until I checked my bank statement. Those bastards cashed my check–and yes, I am getting huffy about $6–without sending my transcripts to me. Oh that’s it, Penn State, it’s on now. I love my alma mater dearly but if they had cost me a job I’d have been pissssed. I gave them a little ring this afternoon, grossly after the fact of course, but since I did actually gain employment, it didn’t seem as pressing.

Hi, I’m calling regarding my transcript request.

You requested they be sent electronically, correct?

Yes, I did.

Oh, they were sent to the following e-mail.

That’s not my e-mail.

That’s what you provided.

Why would I provide an incorrect e-mail address?

This is where they were sent. I can re-send it to the correct address.

You can? Gee, thanks. That’s great. Moron.

As it turns out, they were unclear, despite my clarity of print, as to whether something was a letter or a number. Seriously Penn State? It didn’t occur to you to check that at all? How bout the schmuck who got my transcripts in an e-mail? You didn’t feel like correcting that? I sure hope my personal information wasn’t on there. And do you know why I can’t if it was? Because I can only access the document ONE TIME!! The whole point of asking them to be sent electronically is so that A) they get there quickly (while avoiding the $35 rush delivery charge for the hard copy) and B) I can continually access them. Apparently neither of these options is actually true. Only 1 time Penn State? Are you so cheap that you’re going to insist on $6 every time I need to ask for these? You have GOT to be kidding me.

Congratulations Penn State. That is a pretty epic fail.


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