How to survive the stomach flu

I just recently survived the stomach flu. Since I’m massively vomit-phobic, I’ve spent the last 13 years avoiding the stomach flu and I did a damn good job. But all streaks must come to an end and sadly, this streak was no exception. Luckily for all of you, I’ve decided to share a few of my tips for surviving the flu.

1. Ginger-ale. Drink ginger-ale and plenty of it. Like the old saying goes, it’s better to burp and bear the shame then not to burp and bear the pain. And I’ve gotta tell you…nothing feels better than a really good belch when it feels like your stomach is in a vice.

2. Jell-o. It’s true. There really is always room for Jell-o. Especially if that’s all you manage to eat in the course of 5 days.

3. Sitcom DVDs. Daytime TV can only take you so far. And if daytime is bad, the 3:30-7:30 a.m. block is even more sparse. Movies are an acceptable substitute.

4. Pillows. Have as many as you can in a variety of shapes and sizes. Trust me, you’ll appreciate them around day 3 when your ass goes numb.

5. Interesting book. This one comes in handy when you decide you’ve had it with your bed (and the fact that you’ve been awake for 21 hours straight) and decide on a nice relaxing bath. Yes, I realize that sounds like a contradiction–interesting book/relaxing bath–but when you’re home alone and sick as a dog, the last thing you want is to fall asleep in the tub.

6. Mindless Internet tasks. This step isn’t until later in the illness. Day 3 or 4 maybe. You have enough energy to hold up your laptop but not enough to leave your apartment. Need suggestions? Think useless Facebook applications, complete with quizzes, or your favorite blog, with easy, one-dose reads.

7. Spectacular boyfriend. This tip actually only applies if you already have the boyfriend. Otherwise, trying to acquire one while you can’t even stand is going to be a little tricky. None-the-less, having your own personal knight in shining armor to make sure you drink liquids, take your meds, and, you know, don’t die, is pretty sweet.

So there you have it. My methods for surviving the flu. Granted, I hope that none of you come down with this because I have to say, it was pretty hellish. But if you do, at least you have a few tips to help you through it. Or, at least something to read while you work on tip #6.

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