It’s the most frightening time of the year

This is not a belated Halloween post. This is a post by a girl who just ventured into Macy’s at Christmastime. I’m sorry…I need a minute.

*fans face frantically*

Okay…I’m okay now. Let me set the records straight here. I would never intentionally go to Macy’s at this time of year unless it was seriously crucial. My winter coat is not quite wintery enough for the recent weather so the parentals said if I found a coat it would be my birthday present. Cool. I’ve been cold for a week or so and a coat seems like a good idea.

So I head to Macy’s and actually find one that I like…just not in my size. So I stand in line to ask the cashier (as I’ve been instructed to do) and finally it’s my turn. An extra cashier comes over and asks to take the next in line (a.k.a. this girl). I walk over and start to ask her my question when she immediately cuts me off.

“I don’t–I can’t answer that. You’ll have to ask the cashier”

I’m sorry, I thought you WERE the cashier? Guess it’s back to the line for me. And then…

“I can take the next customer who does not have a question about their coat.

Wow. That seemed a little harsh. Okay. I’m sorry. I thought it was your job to help people but no, it’s cool don’t worry. I’ll just stand here and ask someone helpful.

Long story short, the coat trip was unsuccessful. But to treat ourselves for not having killed anyone my shopping companion and I hit up Ben&Jerry’s before we left (oh Macy’s, how considerate of you to have an ice cream store inside!). While we’re waiting to order a gaggle of prepubescent girls totally cut in front of us. The direction of the line was clearly indicated by a sign too.

Can’t deny a sign

So I uttered a few noises to more fully illustrate my incredulity at the situation. Then the B&J clerk was finally ready and faced the counter. He clearly knew we were there first, but his day was probably slow (it is winter after all) so I think he wanted to see how this would play out.

Clerk: Can I help someone?

Me: Well you’d better help them first, since they are clearly in a hurry.

Girl: No, we’re not.

Me: You must be though, since you pushed right in front of us, but go ahead.

Now just calm down before you call me a bitch. I’ve been shoulder-checked by more ho ho ho’s than I can handle this holiday season. Men in suits have pushed me into the Salvation Army bell ringers. I’ve been yelled at by tourists who stop in front of me then get mad when I run into them. But to be sassed by a 13-year-old? That’s almost more than I can take. And really–where were their mothers?!

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