I could be the Top Chef…if I wanted to be…or cooked

Bravo has this lovely habit of using Wednesdays to rerun, in marathon form, episodes of Top Chef. A show that, until I caught one of these marathons, I didn’t really concern myself with (my DVR is full enough as it is) but now that I’ve tasted (all puns intended) Top Chef, I can’t put down my fork (or, um, you know, the remote).

One of the reruns featured a Quickfire challenge in which the chefs had to cook something as a Mix-in to make their own Coldstone Creamery creations. Now, I took mild offense to this as I used to be an employee of Marble Slab Creamery and therefore have to pledge all allegiance to their ice cream over CC’s, but biases aside, the episode whet my appetite.

Already hungry I made the mistake of going out to pick up ice cream, having eaten the last half of the Cherry Garcia pint straight from the, well, the pint. And what did I discover, sitting right next to my staple Ben & Jerry’s flavor? Stephen Colbert’s “Americone Dream.” Vanilla ice cream with chocolate-covered waffle cone pieces and a caramel swirl.

(Are you drooling yet? It’s okay if you are.)

Combining the above ingredients (pun again intended): Top Chef + Stephen Colbert with the fact that I have a sweet tooth and a mild case of writer’s block (to be fair, it’s more like writer’s sloth…my bad), and welcome to today’s blog.

I’m going to make the argument here that I could totally be Top Chef…or at least have won that Quickfire challenge. I experimented with flavors back when I used to man the frozen slab. I mean, there isn’t much else to do on a rainy Sunday morning in the store–the Lou Bega dance parties we held while decorating cakes could only last so long. So we’d mix the peanut butter ice cream with the strawberry ice cream. Instant PB&J. Cinnamon plus coffee. A chilly cappuccino. Those are pretty basic, I’m sure. So then we started to get a little more…involved. Strawberry + banana + amaretto. Mmm smoothie. Birthday cake + chocolate + peanut butter (which was actually a little stupid of us because we could have just used the chocolate peanut butter ice cream) = a chocolate peanut butter cake.

Then, as with all good things, we took it a little too far. Trying to mix all of the pink flavors together. Strawberry + bubblegum + peppermint. Not so good. All the whites? Coconut + vanilla + sweet cream + birthday cake + banana. Yeah, really not so good.

So…after making you hungry, nauseous, and most likely bored, I’ll leave you with this. My ultimate combo, which you can get at any of the pro-Mix-in ice cream stores. Half sweet cream, half banana with Oreos.

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