Did anyone else see the front page of the Post yesterday? No? Well in case you didn’t see it, here’s what you missed:
(The picture is actually from the Web site, b/c unfortunately it didn't occur to me to save the image yesterday. And I'll forever be kicking myself for that!)
Okay, do you all see what that says? It says pussy whipped!
Right there, on the front page of the paper. Can I even tell you how excited I was to see that? To know that not ALL newspaper editors are instituting the “no pun, no fun, just the facts” policy that mine did? To know that there are still creative people out there who really want to get a rise out of people AND use a sexual ineundo on the front page of the paper–and who can get away with it?! To know that irreverent headlines live on?!
Let’s just say that my inner-nerd was having one of the best days ever yesterday.
Two irreverent heds in one night? Be still my heart!!
For a story about a study that says being fat is a better predictor for absenteeism in elementary school than any other factor:
Out like a fat kid in dodgeball
The story goes on to say that being obese/missing school will lead to a number of problems down the road, including but not limited to: AIDS, drug use and teen pregnancy.
I’m not sure I even have words for this one….
For a story about the monsoons leading to a higher number of snake bites in India:
Plain. Simple. Sadly unprintable.
This might have been my favorite irreverent headline of the summer. It was so good that I’m even providing a little background, which you know I never do.
Now, I love Dane Cook. He might be the funniest man alive. And, to quote him, his material is “so true, and that’s why it’s funny. It is so true, that’s why it’s funny. Because it’s so true, hence funny.”
Some of the best stories to edit here are the columns. The guys usually have something interesting to say, and even when they write about boring stuff (think politics or public transportation) they make it interesting.
So today’s column (or more accurately, tomorrow’s) was all about this columnist getting mad because people turn around in his driveway. He even bought a gold chain to string across it to prevent, as Dane Cook would call them, Driveway Intruders.
I open this story, start reading, and immediately know that the headline MUST be a D.C. reference. Now, the good people of Pittsburgh (at least those who would be reading our paper) would probably not be up on their Dane Cook, but I fit the headline anyway–for my amusement and yours:
What?? I don’t know this car!
Oh if only we could actually print that….
For a story about how a neighboring state hasn’t quite kept up with their dam inspections:
Dam Safety Engineering Program calls lack of inspections a dam failure
For a story about a woman who cares about the environment…but said she had a lot of “Christmas trees” in her yard:
Treetard loves environment
And, at the suggestion of a co-worker:
“Don’t be a treetard,” resident says.
Oh yes, taking a slight turn from the irreverent headlines, this story deserved its own entry.
A story about local NASA campers contained the following gems:
After debating the use of rock, paper, scissors to decide who went first, the boys agreed to go by age and let the youngest camper, KID’S NAME, 8, shoot off his rocket first.
KID’S NAME, 10, couldn’t launch his rocket on the first try.
KID’S NAME, 10, fired his rocket before KID’S NAME, 11, who said his favorite part of camp was launching his rocket.
KID’S NAME, 11, went running into the woods after his rocket when it was caught by the wind. But he found his rocket, and emerged from the woods with a large grin on his face.
Some nights, I’m really amused by my job.
For a story about a woman who was charged with stabbing her live-in boyfriend:
Cleaver charged with stabbing fiance.
Yeahp. That really was her name. I couldn’t make this stuff up.
For a story about a guy who was pissed off about foul balls from a stadium landing in his yard:
Balls put man in foul mood.