Some brief thoughts…

Not quite short enough for Twitter, not quite long enough to deserve a post of their own.

Brief thoughts on the Duggar’s:

I realize I’m the last person to talk about the infamous 17 kids and counting, wait, baby makes 18, family but I don’t care.  Roomie and I watched the show last night and we heard, well, some disturbing things.

A daughter (on the Duggar family hairstyle): Well, we all have long hair because my dad likes long hair. Does anyone else find this weird?  Like, ‘hey, why’d you buy that blue top?’ ‘oh, you know, ‘cuz my dad likes blue.’   Seems odd….

Another daughter (on changing the oil): I dripped oil on the camera but it wasn’t my fault.  It dripped because my father did not inform me that it was about to come. Okay, Rachel and I almost choked on lemonade and fell off the couch, respectively, when we heard that.  We were SHOCKED to hear that the editing crew let that one through.

A son: Jackson, stop it!  You made it splatter everywhere!  Again…what’s going on with the editing crew?

Rachel and I assumed that this crew hates that they got this show and since they are weirdly creeped out by the concept of a family that’s 9 times bigger than the average family, they are doing their best to make sure that the lines and footage they keep in really reflect the “crazy.”

Brief thoughts on the MTA/Albany:

New Yorkers are pissed.  And if they aren’t yet, they will be by March 25th.  Know why?  That’s the day that monthly unlimited MetroCard jumps, nay leaps, sky rockets even, from $81/month to $103/month.  That’s a $22 hike.  That is UNBELIEVABLE.  Like the signs say, for $103 there should be “a sauna, a pool and Pilates classes down there.”

Not only do I know have to shell out an extra $20 and change a month, I also have to have my route suffer.  AT LEAST once a week for the past 5 weeks I have gotten to 33rd street, a mere 2 stops away from my stop, only to hear the conducter make the dreaded announcement: “Attention all passengers, the next stop on this train will be 14th street.”

Do you know what happened to me today?  I heard that same freaking announcement.  I heard it after I battled to even make it to 33rd street w/o people yelling, pushing, shoving, and slamming in the face with their purses (I was INCHES from getting a bag to the nose).  And so I schlepped myself, my purse, and the 2 extra bags full of crap for work off the train.  Then I got shoved out of the way by a fat chick who couldn’t see that I had more bags than I could handle and figured that slamming her large ass into my little frame was the best way to act (a simple “excuse me” would have worked wonders).

I  high-tailed it to the other end of the tracks, hoping for better luck as I got away from the middle of the train.  No such luck.  I watched another over-crowded train, the 4th I’d seen that morning (including the few that passed us by at 96th and the one we finally shoved onto) shut its doors, me still on the outside.  After another few minutes I finally made it on to a train, where a businessman sat, unabashedly chewing his fingers and unnecessarily taking up 2 spots on the bench, and eventually got to 23rd street.

So I have this to say to you, MTA and Albany/the NY government: get your shit together.  Hurry the hell up with that 2nd avenue line.  STOP skipping stops during rush hour (which I know is something that I harp on nearly every time it happens…I swear, I’ll stop now!).  It’s really not doing anyone any favors.  In fact, it’s making things worse.

Oh, and if you see an angry mob led by a short girl with a mop of curly hair on her head–run.  Run far and run fast because that means I’ve finally snapped, assembled a mob of like-minded commuters (slash* bloggers), and the end result, well, it won’t be pretty.

Brief thoughts on spelling out punctuation marks*:

I have always said “slash” in conversation.  Don’t expect me to stop just b/c I have a blog and I’m working with the written/typed word and can just type a “/”.  It’s just not the same and every so often I like to type a good “slash.”

As per….?

I’m a big proponent of speaking in abbreviations. I’m actually in a Facebook group dedicated to it (it’s obvi you’re just jeal I speak in abrevs so whatev). In fact, last summer at grammar camp–

Oh come ON now, it is really not that funny!

Oh? Oh it is? Sad too? Yeah, well…laugh it out of your systems, it looks bangin on my resume.

You’re done? Are you sure? Are you sure you’re sure? Okay, good.

AS I WAS SAYING…I went on a bar tour that was titled the “Totes Obvi” bar tour and each of us had abbreviated nicknames on the back of our shirts, jersey-style. I was “Totes Inapprop” as if any of you are surprised to hear that.

Anyway, so I was typing an away message last night and realized that I wanted to use the abbreviated phrase for “as per usual.” If you’ll bear with my phonetics, that would go something like “as per uuushe” or something. And that’s when I realized I had a serious problem.

“Uuuushe” is not really the sound that that word is. Sure, the excessive “u’s” get the point across, but the “she” really doesn’t do it for me. Should it be more like “uuuuge” as in the sound people who say “huge” weirdly make? Or more like “uuuuuje”? As in…I don’t know…uuuuuje?

This is really going to upset me. Obvi is obvi the best way to abbreviate obvious. And it doesn’t look super funny if I type it. Same goes for “tho” and “whatev” and “fave” (although I know a lot of people who actually like to use “fav” instead of “fave” and that’s one that I really think should be dictated by phonetics, but whatev.”

So tell me, world of abbreviations and guys who came up with pronunciations: what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to look lame and always type “usual” in casual context? Or I am supposed to answer “oh, the uuuujhe” when asked what I’m up to and just hope that people interpret my bizzaro spelling? Huh?

HUH?

Yeah. That’s what I thought. Well why don’t you get back to me when you’ve got something to say, okay?

Not only do they have trouble merging…

I’m not sure, but something tells me these are the type of “benifits” I would want….

*Thanks to Boo’s roommate for the pic*

It’s judgement time. Word.

In a story about a high school, headed down the drain, that is trying to pass its students to other districts:

“My first year was butt,” FRESHMAN said while on a street corner with her friends on a sunny afternoon. “I didn’t learn nothing.”

‘Nuf said.

Grammar judge, reporting to duty

In a really terrible story about a pedestrian hit and dragged by a stolen car:

LIEUTENANT says: “She does have severe injuries throughout her body, but most severely, she has severe head trauma.”

I almost feel bad about putting this one up…but still…word of the day calendar? Thesaurus.com? Something…it really would have helped.

Yeahp, I’m gonna judge you

In a story about a local city helping out the midwestern town that shares its moniker after it was destroyed by a tornado, the Kansas city’s treasurer had this to say:

“LOCALCITY, Pa.–they are the ’superest’ guys I’ve every met,” Cash Chick said.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not heartless. I feel for the woman. I feel for the town. But superest is not a word.

I shall judge thee, bishop

In a story about a pastor who was recently elected as bishop of the Southwestern Pennsylvania Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the following quote was uttered:

“I think it would be well to continue as a missionary synod, but not restricting that to foreign missions,” BISHOP said.

Sometimes, it’s good.