I still don’t like a lot of you

Do you know where I’m supposed to be tonight?

My 5th year high school reunion.

Yup.  You read that right.  5th. Year. High. School. Reunion.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but no one has done anything (at least not anything of substance) in the last 5 years.  In fact, I went to college with most of the people I was friends with in high school (that’ll happen with a state school).  In fact, I dated more people from my high school after I graduated than I did while I was attending the school.

To be perfectly honest on this one, I still don’t like a lot of the people I went to school with.  Oh, sure, I still have friends from high school.  But you know what–I see those people.  The people that I still like and still want to be in touch with I am still in touch with.  And the rest of our class?  I’m totally fine with not seeing them.

Plus, everyone knows that the point of the reunions–the REAL point–is to go back and flaunt your successes to everyone who made your life miserable in high school.  Wait, was it just me who saw Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion?

I mean, we are not the kids from Tree Hill, who apparently wound up with wildly successful careers after never stepping foot on a college campus. Most of us, since we graduated into a declining economy, spent some time unemployed.  Most of us have switched jobs at least once already.  Most of us are living at home still.  And the rest of us, moved as far away as possible–on purpose.

So why, when a great majority of us got married with our bffs from grades 9-12 in our bridal party, are we reuniting?

I don’t know.  Ask me in another 5 years.  I’ll probably go to that one.

I never understood until I got to college

Until I got to college, I never really understood the importance of a holiday dedicated to food.  This is an entire holiday whose purpose (giving thanks aside) is to eat.  This stopped being a good thing when I got to college (read: was eating dorm food all the time and yes that does mean Easy Mac) and became a great thing.

On today’s menu:

• 3-ingredient olive dip.  My aunt and I are in charge of this one.  It’s really the pinnacle of the hor’s d’ouvres.  The whole meal would probably fall apart if the 2 of us didn’t SLAVE over this 3 ingredient dip.  Just saying.
• Turkey
• Stuffing
• Crummy broccoli casserole–because what’s not to like about broccoli smothered in cheese?
• Mashed potatoes
• Cranberrys and/or sweet potatoes (I can’t say which–I don’t eat these 2 so I like to keep them at the other end of the table from me.  If it were sweet potato fries we were talking about though, that would be a different story)
• Green bean casserole–Boo is in charge of this one.  That’s right, Mama B put him to work this year.  Clearly he’s more trusted in the kitchen than certain family members (see first item on menu).

We’ve also got hummus, baked feta, a cheese tray and Bloody Mary’s planned for before the meal (read: this is why I’ve accidentally gotten drunk before 11 some years).  And we’ve got 2 pies and more cookies than we can count for after the meal.

Life is good.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Now stop reading and go eat!!  Seriously!  Step away from the computer and go find yourself a glass of wine and some yummy pre-turkey snacks!

Adventures in license renewal and other signs the DMV should be avoided

I had to get my license renewed.  Sure, I haven’t really driven a car in months, but there’s not a chance I’m letting my license expire.  Something tells me parallel parking won’t be the only problem I have if I have to retest.  I knew I wanted to renew at home–I’m just not ready to get rid of my PA license.  I also wasn’t ready to get rid of my picture.  I had a really awesome license picture.  I know, that’s pretty shallow, but it was a really good picture!  Plus, my passport picture…well…let’s just say that it’s a good thing I don’t leave the country very often.  So Boo and I headed to the DMV to renew my license:

10:45–We wanted to leave the house 45 minutes ago.  This is not starting out well.  My hair is flipping weirdly and it’s starting to snow.

11:10–I forget where we are going and miss the turn.  I was too focused on the mall trip afterward that I almost forgot about the DMV.

11:15–No one in the parking lot seems to have any idea what they are doing.  I managed to navigate the Duncan Manor intersection and these fools can’t get their vehicles inside the lines.

11:16–Enter the DMV.  Boo and I are both confused by the signage.  Feel stupid.

11:17–Pull a number after figuring out that we needed to pull a number.  Pull A50.  Worry when we realize that we are only on A33.

11:19–#34 is absolutely ready to pop out a baby at any second.

11:21–Check paperwork.  Ask DMV lady if I need to sign my paperwork on the signature line.  She says “Uh, not really.”  I’m barely even sure what that means–why put the line if I don’t actually have to sign anything?

11:24–There is a lot of beeping coming from somewhere in the room.  Boo is confused.

11:25–Call a “Lauren.”  I am hopeful even though I know there is no possible way they could mean me.

11:25:33–Am disappointed that I am not the “Lauren.”  Am happier that we are on #42.

11:27–Boo just now realizes that I am trying to look identical to my old, awesome photo–even after my hair meltdown.  He says I am ridiculous.  I agree, but that didn’t stop me from totally trying to copy my picture.

11:31–McLovin* walks in.  It’s awkward.

11:32–Someone calls DMV.  No one answers.  Someone else yells “DEAD NUMBER!!”  Boo decides someone killed #47

11:34–#50.  I scribble my signature on the electronic pad.  DMV lady asks if it’s okay.  I tell her it’s as good as it’s going to get.

11:34:47–I sit to take my picture.  The lady asks if I like it and I ask to take it again.  She tells me I can take a third.  I decide not to be that kid and go with my first picture.

11:36–Boo and I talk about all the photos I should have taken.  Decide I will do a photo montage of that for another blog post.

la

*In all fairness, it wasn’t the real McLovin–but he was a pretty close replica.

Why home is good

Things I’ve done since I’ve been home:

la

• Slept in my own bed.
• Slept in the chaise lounge (well, to be fair, I coma’d in that lounge.  There’s no sleeping–it’s a full-on knock-out chair).
• Got a massage with Jan, my massage lady.  If I get a Sven, I’d like him to have her magic hands.
• DROVE MY BABY!!!  I missed Conan but he didn’t let me down.  I think I’ll show you pictures of him soon.
• Got together with a high school friend–and talked about how neither of us feel the need to attend our 5th year high school reunion.
• Had home-cooked meals, including the potato casserole that I can’t make for myself because they just do not sell those stupid potatoes anywhere.
• Saw some turkeys–watched to make sure they didn’t peck my car tires–again.
• Saw a woodpecker.  Thought about shooting it for pecking the house but didn’t feel like running out of the house Sunday morning with the gun.

la

Home is good.

THON Update: 11/16-11/24

Hey everyone, time for our THON totals for the week.

For those of you who may just be stumbling on this site, click here to read about what I’m doing.

5 cents for every comment on every new post b/w November 12 and February 20, up to $100.  I’m not counting pingbacks or my own comments either.

At the end of the second week the total is:

$3.95

The total so far:

$7.95

Keep up the comments!!!  FTK!!

RCN…you’re KILLING me!

Rachel and I have been living in The Carton for a little over a year now.  This means we’ve been paying our cable bill for as long.  In an interesting, and unannounced by RCN, turn of events, our cable bill spiked last month, jumping over 20 dollars.

It was possible, we reasoned, that our initial cable bundled packaged price had lapsed.  But w/o any warning, I didn’t feel like RCN was doing us right.  So I called them.*

la

Me: Yeah, hi, I had a question about my bill.

RCN: What can I help you with?

Me: I’m wondering why my bill spiked up in price.  I mean, we got no warning about it and the bill didn’t say why it spiked.  I’m just trying to figure out why I’m paying over a hundred dollars when there are cheaper prices online.

RCN: Let me put you on hold here and I’ll check.

*Waits on hold for a few minutes*

RCN: Well, ma’am you are paying the lowest price available right now.

Me: I’m looking at my computer and it says on the RCN page that there is a bundle for $77.  Why am I paying over $100 now?

RCN: Hm.  I didn’t see any lower prices.

Me: I’m looking at the screen right now.  Why am I paying so much more?

RCN: Let me put you on hold again for another quick minute and I’ll see what I can find out.

Me: Thank you.

*Waits on hold again*

RCN: Okay, ma’am?  You have a promotion price right now that will last until November 2009.

Me: Then why did my bill spike?

RCN: Your promotion dropped off.

Me (thinking this woman must be smoking something): But you just said I have a promotion price.

RCN: That’s right.

Me: Then why did my bill spike?

RCN: Your promotion dropped off.

Me (completely not understanding this woman): Well.  Why am I paying over $100 when there is a price off $77 online?  No one told me my bill was going to jump.  Why should I be paying $30 more than what you have listed as the bill price?

RCN: I’m not sure.  Let me check and see if you are applicable for this promotion.

*Waits on hold.  Again.  Fearing that this woman may not know anything*

RCN: Ma’am.  You had a supervisor’s promotion.  That dropped off.  That’s why your bill changed.  You still have another promotion.  I can’t get you this online price b/c it’s for new customers only.  But I can offer you $5 off your bill.  How’s that sound?

Me (wondering why the hell this woman didn’t just say all that in the first place): Well yeah, that’s better than nothing.  Thanks!  Is that it?

RCN: Uh, well, you called me.

Me: I know that.  I’m asking you if there is anything else I need to do to get the $5 off.

RCN: No.  You can wait on the line while I set this up.  Let me put you on hold please.

*Waits on hold.  Again.*

RCN: Okay, you’re all set.  Now I know you can’t remember everything but try not to forget that this will drop off next year.  Bye.

Me: OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST SASS ME!!! (To, of course, an empty line).

la

I’d love to say that maybe it would be different with another cable company.  But, since my building only allows us to use RCN, I guess I’ll never know.

But to be honest, I get the feeling they are all shiesty.

la

*In actuality, I tried to speak with them in person twice, but apparently you can only PAY your bills in-office–you can’t inquire about your bills.  Dumb.

What have you done?

I happened upon this list when I was over at DMB’s place.  I’m having a bit of an off day so it seemed like it would be a good day for a list, but since no one ever really tags me in these things, I just borrowed it!

What I’ve done is in purple:

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain (At one point I was wheezing and begging to be left behind.  Then I was lapped by an old woman.  Yeah, lapped.  On a mountain.  Take that in.)

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said “I love you” and meant it

09. Hugged a tree (I’m willing to say this happened in elementary school at some point…)

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game (Uh hello, Nittany Lion right here.  I’ve been to tons!)

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables (we had tomatoes in my backyard at one point…)

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby’s diaper (what babysitter hasn’t?)

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon (it was tethered to the ground…that probably doesn’t count, does it?)

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne (at an Elle event, no less!)

24. Given more than you can afford to charity.

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (have you met me?)

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight (note: do not engage in these with drunk college kids.  it will end badly)

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb

33. Seen a total eclipse (of the heart…. Fine, yes, a real one too.  Lunar.)

34. Ridden a roller coaster (7th grade was the first time.  I wished it was my last.  Steel Phantom was a bitch and half)

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking (any time I’m out…)

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day (hm, an entire night–does that count?)

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Had two hard drives for your computer (My name is Lauren and I am a nerd.  A stealth nerd.)

40. Visited all 50 states

41. Taken care of someone who was drunk

42. Had amazing friends (Still do!)

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

44. Watched whales

45. Stolen a sign (haha that’s a good story)

46. Backpacked in Europe

47. Taken a road-trip

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them

54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow

56. Alphabetized your CDs

57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Sung karaoke

59. Lounged around in bed all day (ahh, college was so good for that)

60. Played touch football

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain (how have I not done this yet?!?)

63. Played in the mud (one of my most fun days in college actually)

64. Played in the rain (this was the same day…)

65. Gone to a drive-in theatre

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites

70. Taken a martial arts class

71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie

74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days

77. Made cookies from scratch

78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. Rafted the Snake River

82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”

83. Gotten flowers for no reason

84. Performed on stage (viola, gymnastics and 4 years of high school theater–I miss that the most!)

85. Been to Las Vegas

86. Recorded music

87. Eaten shark

88. Kissed on the first date

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house

91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one/both of your parents

93. Been on a cruise ship

94. Spoken more than one language fluently

95. Performed in Rocky Horror

96. Raised children

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

98. Passed out cold

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over (I mean, isn’t that called “graduation?”

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open (all the time.  this was easier with my car than with Boo’s…)

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived

105. Wrote articles for a large publication

106. Lost over 100 pounds

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane (hell yeah baby!)

109. Touched a stingray

110. Broken someone’s heart

111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a TV game show

113. Broken a bone (I am CONVINCED I broke my finger at camp–even if no one else believes me!)

114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

118. Ridden a horse

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi (all the time, I love it!)

128. Had your picture in the newspaper

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed

132. Touched a cockroach

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes

134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read (I didn’t miss them so much as skip them…meh)

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

137. Skipped all your school reunions (only had 1 so far.  High school 5th year.  I will not be attending)

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office

140. Written your own computer language

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146. Dyed your hair

147. Been a DJ

148. Shaved your head

149. Caused a car accident (it was a white out! It’s not my fault!! I mean, I love you mom and dad, thanks for still letting me drive the car, it’ll probably be the last time!)

150. Saved someone’s life by not hitting them with my car.

la

So…that’s that.  What have you done?

Save the best bite for last

I had the best bagel this morning.  Okay, to be fair, it wasn’t the BEST bagel I’ve ever had, but it was from my favorite breakfast stop on the way into work so that bumps it to “best” status.

Almost every morning I pop into Lenny’s and grab a plain bagel, toasted, with plain cream cheese.  In the summer, I used to pair that with an iced tea.  Once it got colder and I felt like I was lacking some Vitamin C, I started pairing it with the fresh-squeezed orange juice (which, by the way, is probably the best OJ I’ve ever had).  I’m in there so much that the guy who takes my order, Diego, knows me.

In fact, he asked me this morning where I was yesterday.  I didn’t have the heard to tell him I’d brought breakfast.

The up side to having the Lenny’s guys know me is that I tend to get extra cream cheese on my bagel.

The down side to having the Lenny’s guy know me is that I tend to get extra cream cheese on my bagel.

I always think that this is a great thing until I’ve got that last quarter of the bagel left.  I redistribute the cream cheese (again) and then I get ready to tackle that last big, figuring out which bites look like they will be the best–best cream cheese configuration and best bagel consistency.

This is dangerous thought.  What happens if I fill up!?  Then I’ve wasted those perfectly good bites.

This doesn’t just happen with breakfast–I can do this with pretty much any meal.  It’s the same as when you were a kid and you ate all your vegetables first so you’d finish the meal with the good taste of whatever your side dish was (for me it was usually orzo w/melted parmesan that I was holding out for).  Then, after scarfing all the veggies and eating the requisite amount of meat to ensure you would still get dessert, you’d be full.  And all that fabulous orzo was wasted.

Or when you go out to dinner and you KNOW you want dessert.  But then your food gets to the table and it looks really good and you can’t bring yourself to save it for leftovers because you KNOW it won’t taste as good when it’s reheated and then, next thing you know, you have no room for dessert.

I guess it’s just like the coats–when it comes to dinner (or breakfast), you better not peak too soon.

Don’t peak too soon

This morning I woke up, checked weather.com and there it was: rain/snow showers.  Crap.  There’s no avoiding it now.  It seems like everyone else I know has had some snow.  My mom sent me a picture just this weekend of my poor baby Conan (yes that IS my car and yes, I DID name him) covered in snow while I was lounging in CT, enjoying the 60-degree weather.

But now there is no avoiding it.  Rachel busted into my room this morning and asked “DO YOU SEE THAT?!”  I pulled up my blinds and sure enough, there it was.  Or rather there they were–the first flakes of the season (at least the first to make to the UES) were falling outside my window.

Crap, I thought, now it’s going to start getting cold. I’ve been wearing my little wool coat for a little over a week, taking a break last weekend and returning to my leather coat for the afore-mentioned warm snap.  (Actually wait…is it a snap if it’s warm?  I feel like only the cold weather happens in snaps.  Or in spells for that matter.  Anyway…).

Here’s where I run into my winter dilemma: When do I pull out the big-guns of the winter arsenal–the puffer coat?

Sure, it’s chilly today.  And sure, the temperatures are in the 30s and when you walk outside it seems like this would be a great day for the puffer coat.  I mean, if down isn’t good for a day like today than what is it good for?  But, assuming you do pull out the coat, what are you going to do in February, when the windchill is -70 and the ice and sleet and snow and wind are all whipping around?  (Yeah…-70 might be a bit of an exaggeration–it’s not like I’m upstate or anything).

If you pull out the puffer on a day when you’d be just fine with your wool, a hat and gloves, you’re screwed.  You get used to the coat.  And then, when the temperatures drop drastically, you have no “last resort” option.  You can’t wake up and say “well, it’s freezing outside and I can barely stand to put my jewelry on b/c the metal is so damn cold but it’s okay b/c I’ve still got my down jacket to look forward too” because you won’t have it!  You peaked back in November and have been crying about the cold ever since.

It’s a tricky situation.  The winter has a whole slew of problems–dry skin, staticy hair, runny noses–your coat shouldn’t have to be on that list.

What the feast?! They’re just skipping Thanksgiving this year!

I noticed something last week.  Something terrible.

America is skipping Thanksgiving.

What’s that?  You don’t believe me?  Fine, but let me offer this:

Normally, each year, ad campaigns start in September with the Halloween promos.  Let’s use Wal-Mart as our example.

This year, Wal-Mart aired the Halloween commercials, hocking everything from costumes to candy–the usual.  Then, on November 1st, the date which would normally signal the start of the Thanksgiving commercials (especially given Wal-Mart’s penchant for “low-priced foods”).  But, wait–what’s this?

Straight to Christmas.

Wal-Mart is saying how the memorable part of CHRISTMAS is the food.  (Not the presents or carols or the church services).  It’s not CHRISTMAS without the yams and the green beans and the whatever.

Yeah…hi…when did we make the switch to Christmas being the eating holiday?  I thought that Thanksgiving’s game.  You know.  The THANKSGIVING turkey.  The flaky crescent rolls (you’re welcome Pillsbury).  The bloody Mary’s.  And, you know, the whole cornucopia of goodness.

That’s when it hit me–we’re skipping Thanksgiving this year.  In the rush to get Christmas out early, we’ve totally skipped a pretty good holiday.  I mean, this is an entire holiday devoted to EATING!!!  How do you beat that?!?!  What is the point of passing over a holiday where the sole activity of the day is eating?  (Well, for me anyway–I’m not usually in the kitchen.  I handle the dip and I totally make it the night before.)  This is a great, not-to-be-missed day.  Not to be (wait for it, wait for it…) glazed over (yeah, I DID just type that).

Obviously, Christmas is still a super fabulous holiday.  Very important.  All of the December holidays are pretty big and important.  But so important that they overshadow Thanksgiving?  I mean, there are skippable holidays.  Arbor Day.  Flag Day.  All the holidays that don’t warrant a sale at Macy’s.  But Thanksgiving?  That’s a holiday w/o which Black Friday would not exist.

I just don’t get it, America.  Why are we skipping Thanksgiving this year?