Not even in Central Park…

I promised this post so I hope it doesn’t disappoint. My roommate and I decided to take advantage of the nice weather, which apparently spring isn’t really doing this year, so we went on a picnic in Central Park. (Can you go on a picnic? Do you just have them? What’s the deal there…)

We found a nice grassy patch and sat down on our pilfered airline blanket. I looked to the left and saw this:

Please note this women’s “outfit.” Those aren’t shorts. That is a bikini bottom, but not from a bathing suit, I’m fairly sure (evidence to follow).

Our creepy couple was then joined by this guy:

Poor guy. He was just trying to sit down and enjoy the weather and a nice afternoon at the park and he ends up sitting next to these creepers. Watch as he gets increasingly more uncomfortable:

It’s as if he’s thinking “okay, just make myself as small as I can and maybe I’ll actually disappear and get away from these creepers.”

They didn’t get any less creepy as the afternoon went on. I looked over at one point and they were doing this:

I mean, come on now. We are in public here people. What do you really think you are doing? Sir, your head is really just way too close to that woman’s crotch. Especially when there are children around.

Then this:

His head is, in case you can’t tell, actually resting on her boob. This is just not right. Lunch and show? I didn’t sign on for that.

Then things got weirder. Nasty McPanties proved us right and showed us that she really had just dropped trow in the middle of the park:

Yup. She decided the weather was nice and it was time to take off her pants, roll up her shirt and get it on with that guy. And yeah, that hand in the bottom of the image? The guy next to us was texting about how awkward the situation was. How do I know that? Because Rachel and I were shrieking about how awkward this situation was and though the near-nudies couldn’t hear us, everyone else near us could.

So there you have it. Anyone who watches Law & Order knows that some pretty kinky things have gone down in Central Park. But note to the not-quite-dressed: those things happen at night. Please keep your clothes on until then.

*NOTE* All of the photos were taken with Rachel and I staring and pointing at my camera and me saying things like “yeah, and that was me and my brother. And that was at the place where we went for that thing.”