What’s your name? Who’s your daddy? Is he rich like me?

I’ll be honest. I don’t expect this post to have anything at all to do with those Zombies lyrics. Okay, that’s a lie. I love the song and my friend Rebecca and I have been singing it pretty much non-stop for the last week. In the office. In Duane Reade. In my apartment. On the streets. Pretty much anywhere that we happen to be. And we’re getting good. Just don’t ask our boyfriends. So this post will basically be vignettes that may, or may not, relate to the Zombies.

~ Wakeup Call (as told to me by Rebecca)~
So last night Karl calls me at 2 in the morning. And I’m asleep. And I answer and he goes “I hate you.” And I’m like, “what have I done between midnight when I said ‘goodnight’ and hung up the phone and now? I’ve been asleep for the past 2 hours.” And he goes “what’s your name? Ahhh!”

~Pretend I’m not an asshole (also told to me by Rebecca)~
When I get a song stuck in my head, I tend to sing it. Karl knows this–he lived with me for 2 years. So we got off the train yesterday (note: this is after meeting Boo and I for brunch on the UWS and then gallavanting around the city) and I was muttering the song under my breath. When I do this, he tries to pretend that I’m not being an asshole and tries to have a regular conversation with me. He’ll answer me or respond but it doesn’t make sense because I’m singing the next line. I got to the part of the song that goes “tell it to me slowly” and he was like “why?!” We had to take a sit-down break on the sidewalk.

NOTE: This post could alternatively been titled “I should not be allowed to exist near liquids, or, how Rebecca saves my life.”

~Sausage King of Chicago~
I venture down the hallway to Rebecca’s (or Abe’s, as her door would lead you to believe) office for a quick hello this afternoon. Hilarity ensues:

R: do you want some chocolate?
L: of course.
R pours chocolate into my hand.
L: what are these?
R: they’re milk chocolate pearls. they’re from Godiva. or GahDiva (phonetics here kiddos) if you prefer.
L (through immediate onset of laughter): what?
R: well the ads all say to unleash your inner diva, so…
L: *laughing to the point of tears*
R: besides, i think i like that better.

You know what? So do I. Abs in shape (from the laughing, duh) I can return to my desk to ponder (or Google, cuz hell, I’ve got time) the possibility of your daddy being rich like me.

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One response to “What’s your name? Who’s your daddy? Is he rich like me?

  1. This is more related to your blog in general, as opposed to this particular post–although I did enjoy it.

    I have been searching the past few weeks for humor blogs (I have one, see above) that consistently entertain. I do this not only to be entertained, but also perhaps to learn a thing or 2.

    I have to say that your “work” is the first to meet these expectations. Keep it up; I really do like your writing style and content.

    Dave :-)

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